An annoying sophomore’s take on his “favorite” Urban classes

Kian Nassre, staff writer

Computer Science 1 & 2

My name for it: there are 10 types of people in this world, people who get binary and people who don’t.

Computer Science is rather hard to explain, so I will define some of the terms that you may run into.

  1. Recursion: If someone says “you’re dumb,” then takes it back, then says “you’re dumb” again, they have recursed you.
  2. Algorithm: The word that programmers use when they don’t want to explain what they just did.
  3. Semicolon: World champion of hide and seek.
  4. Boolean: No one is certain what it means, but code won’t work without it.

Science 2A

My name for it: how to unzip your genes

Freshmen, you can get excited for a break from arithmetic, since, in this class, multiplication means the same thing as division. As for the actual topics of the class: you learn about mitosis, prophase, metaphase, telophase, meiosis, cytokinesis and other mind control villains from Marvel.

Making America & Remaking America

My name for it: presidents only behave wisely when they run out of other options

In these American history courses, you will explore our nation from its beginning to its end. You will examine just how terrible and greedy the founding fathers were and how FDR oversaw the progression of a principle that was deeply rooted in the American Revolution: equality. That is, unless you were African American, a woman, Hispanic, from Japan, Native American, European, Jewish, or low income.

Spanish 3B

My name for it: la vida es terrible y los niños son psicópatas

In this class, you read the works of Ana Maria Matute. Her butterfly and rainbow filled stories discuss joyous topics such as children throwing their baby brothers into ovens. You will have to cook a traditional dish from your culture como un sol, but please don’t burn it. The homework load will be modest compared to reading about the blood of innocents from revolutions and dictatorships. Overall, a cheery class.